Humour For Lexophiles (lovers of words):

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.....and then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose entire left side was cut off?
Well!!! He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief fell into wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The geology professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

A calendar's days are numbered.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.