The Trapeze

Here I stand, looking at the ground, smelling the faint fragrance of God. Never once did it occur to me that when I found God's trail, it would ruin my life forever - for once you feel the breath of God on your skin, you can never turn back, you can never settle for what once was.

You can only move on recklessly, with abandon, your heart filled with fear, your ears ringing with the constant whisper, "Fear not ..."

Once you find where the trail is, you are faced with a sobering truth - in order to go on, you must let go of what bought you here. You cannot go on without turning your back on what lead you to this place.

It is like swinging on a trapeze. Once you have gained the courage to swing, you never want to let go. But then, without warning, you look up and see another trapeze swinging towards you, perfectly timed to meet you, and you realize you are being asked to let go and grab onto the other trapeze.

You have to release your grip. You have to reach out. You have to experience the glorious terror of inbetween-ness as you disconnect from one and reach out for the other.

This past two years for me has been a time of letting go, one finger at a time. And, sometimes during the journey there has been a terrifying weightlessness, a wait-lessness, a paralyzing stretch for the unknown. I still have not reached the other bar yet. I am somewhere in between.

But I can tell you this: my heart is filled with exhilaration, an anxious anticipation that just as I get to the other bar, I will not grasp it, but I will instead be grasped by the hand of Jesus.

I can hardly wait !!!


Acknowledgement : Mike Yaconelli - 'Dangerous Wonder'